


Assassins Don't Celebrate Halloween

by JustMakeLeftTurns



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Family Bonding, Gen, Halloween, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:08:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23478250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustMakeLeftTurns/pseuds/JustMakeLeftTurns
Summary: Prompt was: "I would break his thumbs right now if I could." Characters randomly selected were Bruce and Damian. I added Dick and Alfred./Damian doesn't understand why he needs to dress up and go trick-or-treating- there is candy in the kitchen, Grayson!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Assassins Don't Celebrate Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> A quick story written during work. I asked one of my brothers to give me a number 1-50 for the prompt and 1-5 for the characters. This is the best I could come up with. I apologize everyone is probably out of character; I don't have much of a grasp of Damian or Bruce's characters. Also, thank you to my other brother, whom I asked for costume ideas without telling him about the characters.

"This is humiliating," Damian huffed, tugging at his feathered shirt sleeve. "I am _a trained assassin_. Not some child who participates in acquiring candy from unknown entities for no other reason except to provide entertainment to adults."

Dick quirked an eyebrow, a hint of a smile on his face. "That's one way to say trick-or-treating, I suppose."

"Is it absolutely necessary to wear this garment?" Damian frowned, tugging a bit more harshly at the bright yellow duck costume.

"Alfred worked hard on making that for you," Bruce's voice halted the boy's actions. He'd heard the warning in the tone. _Don't break it or else_. Or something along those lines. Damian, although he prided himself on his assassin background, had yet to truly understand his Father. Dick had, after all, been the Batman to his Robin. Not Bruce.

"Well, I didn't _ask for it_ ," Damian spat. Bruce cleared his throat, his eyes darting to the side. Damian followed his gaze and saw Alfred standing in the entryway to the room. "I do not care how seamlessly this outfit was sewed, Pennyworth," Damian sniffed. "It is humiliating and I will not wear it in public and be patronized by the general population of Gotham." He did, however, avert his gaze and cease any further actions meant to tear the fabric apart.

"Oh, come on, Lil' D-" Dick consoled, ignoring Damian's hiss of "Do not call me that, Grayson!" "It'll be fun. We'll even get Bruce to dress up."

"You will not," Bruce and Damian said simultaneously. Bruce was a bit taken aback that Damian had spoken for him, although no one- except maybe Dick- would be able to read it on his face. Damian, however, was certain that Bruce would never do something as demeaning as dress in a costume for Halloween. Dressing as Batman was entirely different.

"As it just so happens, I have an extra costume made with your measurements," Alfred spoke up. Bruce resisted the urge to sigh. He'd been set up.

"Father will not lower himself-" Damian was cut off by Bruce.

"Should I go get changed, then?" Bruce already knew not to defy Alfred, and Dick's persistence would be unbearable. Batman he may be, a father of a stubborn circus child he also was.

Damian absolutely did not splutter, he was above that, thank you. But he was certainly aghast as Bruce left to change into the costume Alfred seemed to procure out of nowhere.

A few minutes later, Bruce re-entered the room. He wore a pair of jeans and a blue T-shirt with bold clashing letters that spelled 'NO GRAPES'. Alfred cleared his throat. Bruce ticked an eyebrow briefly before setting a curly brown wig onto his head. He was severely regretting his decision to humor Alfred and Dick.

"Looking good, Bruce," Dick tried- and failed, Damian noted- to hold back his snickering. "But you may need a bit of help with the-"

Dick succumbed to his good-natured laughter as he went over to help adjust the wig. Damian scoffed.

"You look almost as ridiculous as I do," he commented to Bruce.

"You next," Dick snagged Damian and proceeded to fix where the front of the costume folded in on itself.

"Grayson!" Damian absolutely did not squawk, no matter what any eavesdropping Bats may recount later. "Unhand me this instant!" Dick steadfastly ignored the young boy. Damian sighed and crossed his arms as Dick fixed the duck tail. Damian glared in the direction of his father. "I would break his thumbs right now if I could."

Bruce grinned. "I have no doubt."

"Done!" Dick announced proudly, finally backing away from the father and son. Damian refused to admit that the costume was a bit more comfortable- if not still embarrassing- now that it was smoothed out and properly adorned. "You two have fun!"

"You're not joining us?" Bruce asked, genuinely surprised. He would have thought his oldest son would have wanted to spend Halloween with Damian. Those two were close, he'd thought.

"Nah," Dick shrugged. "Tim and I are going to watch horror movies."

"Tt. Of course you and Drake-"

"We'll be back in a few hours," Bruce cut off Damian before a slew of insults could exit his mouth. "You and Tim have fun. And," he added seriously. "do not, under any circumstances, eat the candy in the top left cabinet near the microwave."

"Master Bruce," Alfred shook his head, cutting himself off from whatever he was going to say. One night of candy wouldn't do any harm, especially one that might actually involve some family bonding.

"If there's already candy here, then why are we wasting our time in these outfits?" Damian demanded.

"It's about the fun! The experience!" Dick replied.

Damian narrowed his eyes at him, and then turned towards Bruce. The man shrugged. "It's about the fun and experience, apparently."

"Fine," Damian huffed. "Let's go, Father. Let us... _experience_ this ridiculous activity."

Bruce followed the boy out of the room, giving a nod to both Alfred and Dick. He barely saw Tim enter the room with a large bowl of candy before walking out of sight.

He sighed to himself.

Fun and experience, indeed.


End file.
